Dear Children of mine

Dear Children of mine,

You drive me crazy. Before you I slept when I wanted, went out when I needed and had no responsibilities. Before you, I had friends and a life, much different from now. I went to bed at 3 in the morning, now I sleep by 10, so I can be up by 3 to change diapers and feed the baby. I rush when I’m out because, I miss you. I want to spend all of my time with you. I hate to admit I hate sleeping alone, but love that you all love sleeping in my bed. You drive me crazy, but in a good way. I’m up early (most days, anyway.) I’m a Mom, I have meaning. Before you I sort of felt useless, mommy felt she needed someone to keep her happy. A friend, but when I had you all – I realized the friends that left me weren’t at all friends. The friends that said they’d be there until the end just walked out of our life and I’m 110% okay with that – all because I have you. I’ve had sleepless nights, I’ve heard countless cries and wiped thousands of tears (and butts. to be completely honest) I watched your first steps lead you right to your first day at school – I love you and thank you for wiping Mommys tears and putting up with all of my cries. I know I’m emotional. I’ve always been. I’m so glad I have you. The amount of love I have for you all could never be replaced. I will always be here to love and teach you. That’s why Mommy homeschools. The time I spend with you, watching the pace at which you grow and learn is amazing. Teaching you three girls how to love and value yourself as girls, teaching you about how far we’ve come. And my boy, teaching you all you need to know about life, how to correctly treat a woman and to always stand up for what you believe in. All of you always stand up for what you love and that’s why I look up to you. You’ve taught me so much of what I know and I love you all beyond words for it. I’ll take a little stress, a few gray hairs and all the “lovely perks of parenting” ANY DAY if it means I get to have you all in my life. Mommy loves you. 

Love always, 


Don’t be selfish!

I think it’s selfish to remain in a relationship with the Father or Mother of your child just because you don’t have the “balls” to tell your child you’re no longer in love. 

I get it, that shit sucks! No kids wants to deal with their parents separating, but you know what? The sooner you end things, the better.

 Kids are smart, they pick things up. They pick up the good and bad vibes in life, if you’re not happy they’ll know and it’ll only hurt them more in the future knowing you stayed together because of them. They will blame themselves and honestly that’s not something you should ever want for your kid. 

It’s just my opinion I guess but, I’m glad my parents divorced and separated before I was old enough to understand what was truly happening. Two homes are way better than one broken home. 

Healing process

As a Mother, I feel I never have time to worry about myself. I look in the mirror and feel almost disgusted with the person I’ve become, I am damaged. I am an emotional wreck, I cry for almost any reason. I get stressed easily and raise my voice when things get tough. I’m the Mom that I look at on the street and think “I’m glad I’m not like her.” I’m a woman, but I feel less. I feel worthless and compared to every woman I walk by. I’m insecure, I am damaged. I fear nothing could heal the pain in my heart, but my children. The days go by and I watch them grow into beautiful souls and I feel like I’ve accomplished more than I ever thought I could. I remember I’m raising four beings, I remember that I am only human and I am beautiful. I remember that giving birth to four children is why I was put on this earth. I remember, maybe I’m not that damaged, but healing. I’m alive, I’m a mother, and I’m hopeful that with time I can feel like me again. I can be a better me for me and a better being for my little beings. I can almost hear the words slipping from my mouth. “I’m not damaged, I’m healed.” 

There’s no such thing as the perfect kid…

A lot of us seem to think that our kid is perfect; heck, I have four kids, and I think they’re all perfect in their own way. But they’re not. Nobody is perfect and I fear that when we tell our kids they’re perfect, it forces them to grow up in a way they shouldn’t have too. While, telling them they’re perfect can bring lots of self confidence, it can also bring stress. They’ll never want to let you down- can you imagine the headaches that’ll bring when they have to explain a bad grade, an accident in bed, a fight at school or with a sibling? I don’t think it’s fair for a parent to call their child perfect in an imperfect world. Give them a chance, let them know that it’s okay to mess up at life — we learn from it! We make mistakes and we get up and move passed it. Everyone makes mistakes, because nobody is perfect. The sooner we teach our children this, the sooner we have less jerks in the world! 

Who’s the Mom?

I feel as a Mom people think I’ve ducked up. I say ducked because a whole lotta moms frown upon fowl language. As if we’re not all adults feeling the same way, like we’ve fucked up somewhere along the way as parents. (Oh. And auto correct is a bitch…) 

A child that curses isn’t the worst that can happen, hate to break it to you but that shit happens, it’s a faze. My daughter had this faze where she’d call anything and everyone an “asshole”. I couldn’t believe my ears. Like, I didn’t know how to approach this and it was my fault. I use the word, I had to deal with it. 

Well, long story short, my little girl and her cute little “baby accent” would look at someone and say those words. “You assha…” they’d stare at me and I’d smile. “She thinks you’re awesome! Sorry if it sounds a bit wrong. Haha.” Well played, although some didn’t buy into my crap, like my mother for example. She knew damn well that her granddaughter looked her square in the eye and called her an asshole- and it was my fault. Like mother, like daughter.

 I have control over these situations and I feel that laughing it off may or may not be the answer but hey, who am I to say she can’t say it? I use the word randomly. I say “oh shit!” and “oh fuck…” quite a bit too, so if she repeats it and I say “don’t say that!” or even worse, punish her. I don’t think that’s fair. I think what’s fair is letting her learn on her own that the word (or words) aren’t as “cool” as they sound. It took my daughter 3 (extremely long) months to stop using the damn word, but she eventually stopped. 

It felt great not having to tell people she’s calling them an asshole, as she began to really call people awesome. It truly felt like a milestone us parents shouldn’t be afraid to write down. 

Seriously, I have the word “shit” as one of my sons first words in his word book – no shame. He learned that real quick. 

Now, you may be reading this thinking – “This mom is something. I can totally relate! Thank goodness I’m not alone in being a jerk parent.” OR you can be thinking “I’m never ever ever ever never ever following this crazy mom!” Either way, I will and always will be that Mom. 

These kids know it, you know and I know it. They misbehave, they curse, they yell and scream but they’ll never be the Parent! Once you realize that, what everyone else thinks is no longer your concern. You’re in control and a little curse here and there shouldn’t be the biggest deal. If you disagree, maybe you need to lighten the hell up. 

(We all know you secretly don’t give a crap if your kid curses, you only care how people around you feel!! If your kid cursed and you knew nobody would ever know, you’d chuckle. Don’t even lie) 😉 

I’m the Mom! Follow me, on my crazy ass parenting adventure.